My sweet friend, it has been almost 10 full years since I have seen your smiling face yet I see it in my mind almost daily.
I remember the day you returned to your Heavenly Father like it was yesterday.
When I found out, tears did not come immediately and for that, I felt guilty. But in my mind, I knew you were in a better place. When I was 13, about a year after your death, I wrote a poem and put it to music for you. I would sing that beautiful song almost daily. It was short but it explained so much in my mind.
"Why did you have to go and leave me here? Did they need you up in Heaven, when I wanted you near? Did the Lord need more smiles and lots of laughs. Did the world need some time to pass?"
I know they rejoiced in Heaven the day you returned. Heavenly Father needed you more than we did.
I remember the viewing also like it was yesterday. The image if your body in that white angelic dress was so peaceful, it brought tears and joy to my face. Though I knew you were in a better place, I wanted you back.
I wanted those birthday parties back, those hide-n-go seek playdates back, those times we would play on your mom's treadmill and see how fast we could go back.
In kindergarten, one day, you threw up on the bus. Though I don't remember it, my mom tells me I got off at your bus stop and walked you home and stayed until my mom came and picked me up.
Sometimes even today, I feel like I have not one true friend besides my husband.
YOU never failed to be a true friend.
It didn't matter what I looked like or even how I acted, you loved me.
The day you died, I went home from school and snuggled up with my baby blanket. No one could have prepared my 12 year old mind for the loss I felt that day and many days since.
The Friday after you passed, I learned that my mom and Kami's mom had excused us from school so that we could come visit you in the hospital. I remember my mom saying it was too late.
I feel so blessed that we had the opportunity to visit you a few weeks prior to that day. I remember Brother Wisdom teasing you about having cold feet. I'm sure he was scared, just like the rest of us, but we hoped for the best, obviously, not knowing that the best was.
The best thing was for you to return to your Father in Heaven.
Haley, I will always miss you and love you.
I feel honored to have had the opportunity to have named my beautiful daughter after you.
I hope she has a compassion for life like you always did.
***
Mahayla"Hayley" Noelle Maughan
In memory and honor of Mahala "Haley" Sheppard
We love you, Haley!
I remember the day you returned to your Heavenly Father like it was yesterday.
When I found out, tears did not come immediately and for that, I felt guilty. But in my mind, I knew you were in a better place. When I was 13, about a year after your death, I wrote a poem and put it to music for you. I would sing that beautiful song almost daily. It was short but it explained so much in my mind.
"Why did you have to go and leave me here? Did they need you up in Heaven, when I wanted you near? Did the Lord need more smiles and lots of laughs. Did the world need some time to pass?"
I know they rejoiced in Heaven the day you returned. Heavenly Father needed you more than we did.
I remember the viewing also like it was yesterday. The image if your body in that white angelic dress was so peaceful, it brought tears and joy to my face. Though I knew you were in a better place, I wanted you back.
I wanted those birthday parties back, those hide-n-go seek playdates back, those times we would play on your mom's treadmill and see how fast we could go back.
In kindergarten, one day, you threw up on the bus. Though I don't remember it, my mom tells me I got off at your bus stop and walked you home and stayed until my mom came and picked me up.
Sometimes even today, I feel like I have not one true friend besides my husband.
YOU never failed to be a true friend.
It didn't matter what I looked like or even how I acted, you loved me.
The day you died, I went home from school and snuggled up with my baby blanket. No one could have prepared my 12 year old mind for the loss I felt that day and many days since.
The Friday after you passed, I learned that my mom and Kami's mom had excused us from school so that we could come visit you in the hospital. I remember my mom saying it was too late.
I feel so blessed that we had the opportunity to visit you a few weeks prior to that day. I remember Brother Wisdom teasing you about having cold feet. I'm sure he was scared, just like the rest of us, but we hoped for the best, obviously, not knowing that the best was.
The best thing was for you to return to your Father in Heaven.
Haley, I will always miss you and love you.
I feel honored to have had the opportunity to have named my beautiful daughter after you.
I hope she has a compassion for life like you always did.
***
Mahayla"Hayley" Noelle Maughan
In memory and honor of Mahala "Haley" Sheppard
We love you, Haley!
7 comments:
You are the only one who really knows it all, who can relate and remember all those small but precious details about what it was like to play with Hayley and share life with her. I love it...remembering and treasuring. It really brings a comfort to know you understand fully. Thanks. I too wish I could love like she did. Wasn't she amazing! These words of yours...she's heard them. They are beautiful.
that was a very sweet post.
i had no idea.
you put it so beautifully.
and your little hayley is beautiful too.
you kidding?! i'll do em for you!
MM? whats her middle name?
or just Hayley?? you tell me! i'm kinda low on money but maybe you can pay for the letters and i'll do the rest! just tell me what color her room is :)
oh if you only want her initials maybe i can just get them :) i'll do em and let you know! occasionally ask me :)
its been a while since i bought them at michaels...but i think more like 3.99 maybe
What a beautiful memory of your friend. You are so amazing Suzanne! Your daughter is lucky to have you as a mommy.
I miss Haley, too! She was the sweetest little girl. I didn't know your baby was named after her, that is awesome.
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